[And show up Bucky does. He's been doing better at this whole being social thing. He's going to be knocking at the door, because he's polite like that.]
[The place she's staying it is pretty modest. It's never been in her nature to have a lot. She's made a few appetizers, finger foods. It's not a party, but she wanted to at least have something. So when she hears the knock, she moves to answer the door.]
[She gives him a proud little grin, shrugging her shoulders at that.]
You don't have to thank me. I think most of us could use a good night. [She gestures for him to come in, giving a brighter smile. Things are only starting to repair, and not having a lot of people in her life now with Clint retired, she actually likes having him over.]
The kitchen's back here. There's some things to pick on and the Šljivovica is chilling.
[She follows him into her own kitchen with a smaller grin. He's definitely not the man he was when they met, and she feels a little more relaxed. It isn't that who he was caused her tension, but that he feels more relaxed with himself. It's something Wanda's only learning herself, something that's coming with years of practice with her own abilities.]
Please, help yourself. [She grabbed two cups, pouring from a round glass bottle that held the dark alcohol in it.]
[Having some real time to really start to recover, to take care of himself, has done a lot to change Bucky's outlook.]
Thanks.
[He pours a reasonable amount into his cup, though it's (probably) not nearly enough to get him drunk. Better to start off reasonable. He holds up his cup.]
[She lifts her cup with a grin and offers her cheers in Sokovian. Taking a drink, Wanda watches him. It's not an alcohol that's easy to come by, but since Sokovia was destroyed, more and more neighborhoods are appearing in bigger cities. It isn't the same, but the dark liquid will do.
Unlike Bucky her own abilities were latent. She won't have to drink as much as he will, and she isn't going to try, but there's enough for the both of them.]
So-- how are you? [Settling, it seems. Happier, definitely.]
[His smile is shockingly easy, after everything that's happened.]
I've been doing a lot better. Shuri's responsible for most of it; she's been the one making me go to therapy.
[It's still something to get used to, but Bucky doesn't sound ashamed when he talks about it. That had been one of the first things he'd worked on, after all.]
[She’s honestly glad to hear it, though therapy isn’t exactly something she’s thought of (but can probably use it). So it kind of piques her interest.]
And it helps you? [She’s pretty much been alone since the dissolving of the Avengers, trying to find her own way now she’s not exactly allowed back in the United States, has no home, no family. And was also a human lab expirament, has lost every member of her family, and was locked in a floating prison for a short time.]
[He gestures with the glass for emphasis, even if it doesn't appear to mean something specific.]
It took some getting used to. The 40s were a different culture; things like this weren't talked about. But the person Shuri set me up with is good. There's no pressure, no certain thing I'm supposed to talk about. It's all on my terms, no one else's.
A lot different than now. Some things still stay the same, of course, but the culture is a lot different. You'd never'a been able to express yourself the way people can these days.
[He means sexuality-wise, but he's still a little too conservative to come right out and say it, even if he does welcome the change.]
Oh, an' 'cause it was during the War, pretty much everything was rationed. Water, meat, gasoline... it was rough, even before I was shipped out. I felt guilty leavin' Steve in Brooklyn, but he was sickly half the time.
We used to get these booklets. They had little stamps in 'em for rationed things. Once they ran out, you had to wait until you got another booklet to get more.
[His head tips.]
What was it like, for you? I can't imagine it was easy.
No. [She shakes her head a little.] My parents would wait in line for food. One corner might be potatoes, another bread. If you waited and they ran out, you did not get food that day.
The worst were the bombs though. [It had always been her biggest motivator.]
It was rough for us, too. It wasn't a good time to get a flat tire; if you did, it meant you were gonna be walking everywhere. Most of the rubber was going into the war.
[He sighs.]
I get the point to them, but it just made it... difficult, when you were livin' day to day.
I can understand that. At the very least your war was for a bigger cause other than corrupt politicians and greedy weapons dealers. [She may not be as bitter and as angry as before, but she was a political protestor before HYDRA.]
America was separated from the war by an ocean for most of it, it wasn't until I ended up on the front that I understood what it must be like for people in the heart of it.
War is terrible, especially when it starts to affect the kids.
[She shifts back in the wooden chair, leaning on the kitchen table. He at least seemed to understand more of her life, and she feels comfortable talking about her past which isn’t exactly cheery conversation material.]
It wasn’t easy, especially after we lost our parents in an air raid. [The ‘we’ slips out like second nature. Pausing, she wonders if he even knows about Pietro. Her face falters. The fact that she hasn’t mentioned Tony’s name is progress, but Pietro’s death still has its affect over her. She takes another drink to calm her nerves, looking down at the dark liquid.]
No, it doesn’t. [Her words are simple, but she gives him a gentle smile at the understanding, grateful for not having to deal with platitudes and pity. He’s easy to talk to, and she doesn’t mind the conversation has gotten a little more depressed than intended.]
Does talking about them help though? For so long I was angry, and it fueled so much of what I did. Now? I think they call it ‘survivor’s guilt’. [At least with Pietro.]
But then maybe it has made me stronger. [The twins are the only two to survive Striker’s experiments after all. And even after Pietro’s death, Wanda has grown exponentially in her abilities because who else can simultaneously destroy one stone while fending off five others.]
There's a lot of things he could say, but none of them are all that helpful in the long-run, just empty promises that ultimately aren't the least bit true.]
It does. Helps get some of the anger out.
[He doesn't respond right away, but eventually he nods.]
Survivor's guilt. Yeah. Back in the war, it was considered a weakness of character. A man losing his nerve, not something psychologically wrong with 'im. "Survivor's guilt" and "post-traumatic stress" makes it sound a lot less like blaming the person for not being strong enough.
[She listens with a nod.] You can't blame a person for just trying to survive. Some of us don't have the luxury of being able to live. We just survive.
[She still feels like she's living it, though since the Avengers have been disbanded, settling into a real life hasn't been the easiest. Isolation comes more naturally, and it doesn't help that there is still a lot of tension.]
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[And show up Bucky does. He's been doing better at this whole being social thing. He's going to be knocking at the door, because he's polite like that.]
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You made it.
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'Course I did.
Thanks for doing all of this.
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You don't have to thank me. I think most of us could use a good night. [She gestures for him to come in, giving a brighter smile. Things are only starting to repair, and not having a lot of people in her life now with Clint retired, she actually likes having him over.]
The kitchen's back here. There's some things to pick on and the Šljivovica is chilling.
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A chance to kick back, not think about anything.... we don't get to do that too often, do we?
C'mon, let's sit back for a while.
[He might not know where he's going, but he motions for her to lead him to the kitchen, despite pointing it out to him.]
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Please, help yourself. [She grabbed two cups, pouring from a round glass bottle that held the dark alcohol in it.]
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Thanks.
[He pours a reasonable amount into his cup, though it's (probably) not nearly enough to get him drunk. Better to start off reasonable. He holds up his cup.]
Cheers!
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Unlike Bucky her own abilities were latent. She won't have to drink as much as he will, and she isn't going to try, but there's enough for the both of them.]
So-- how are you? [Settling, it seems. Happier, definitely.]
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I've been doing a lot better. Shuri's responsible for most of it; she's been the one making me go to therapy.
[It's still something to get used to, but Bucky doesn't sound ashamed when he talks about it. That had been one of the first things he'd worked on, after all.]
Feel like most of us need it, at this point.
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And it helps you? [She’s pretty much been alone since the dissolving of the Avengers, trying to find her own way now she’s not exactly allowed back in the United States, has no home, no family. And was also a human lab expirament, has lost every member of her family, and was locked in a floating prison for a short time.]
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[He gestures with the glass for emphasis, even if it doesn't appear to mean something specific.]
It took some getting used to. The 40s were a different culture; things like this weren't talked about. But the person Shuri set me up with is good. There's no pressure, no certain thing I'm supposed to talk about. It's all on my terms, no one else's.
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I’m glad to hear it, Bucky. You deserve it. [After everything that has happened, even before the Sokovian Accords.]
What were they like? The 40s?
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[He tips his head thoughtfully.]
A lot different than now. Some things still stay the same, of course, but the culture is a lot different. You'd never'a been able to express yourself the way people can these days.
[He means sexuality-wise, but he's still a little too conservative to come right out and say it, even if he does welcome the change.]
Oh, an' 'cause it was during the War, pretty much everything was rationed. Water, meat, gasoline... it was rough, even before I was shipped out. I felt guilty leavin' Steve in Brooklyn, but he was sickly half the time.
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We may have more in common than you think.
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Wars are still wars.
We used to get these booklets. They had little stamps in 'em for rationed things. Once they ran out, you had to wait until you got another booklet to get more.
[His head tips.]
What was it like, for you? I can't imagine it was easy.
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The worst were the bombs though. [It had always been her biggest motivator.]
The never ending air raids.
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It was rough for us, too. It wasn't a good time to get a flat tire; if you did, it meant you were gonna be walking everywhere. Most of the rubber was going into the war.
[He sighs.]
I get the point to them, but it just made it... difficult, when you were livin' day to day.
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Most of my life was just living day to day.
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America was separated from the war by an ocean for most of it, it wasn't until I ended up on the front that I understood what it must be like for people in the heart of it.
War is terrible, especially when it starts to affect the kids.
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It wasn’t easy, especially after we lost our parents in an air raid. [The ‘we’ slips out like second nature. Pausing, she wonders if he even knows about Pietro. Her face falters. The fact that she hasn’t mentioned Tony’s name is progress, but Pietro’s death still has its affect over her. She takes another drink to calm her nerves, looking down at the dark liquid.]
I was very angry for a long time.
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...I'm sorry.
[He takes a deep drink of his own.]
I lost a lot of friends in Azzano, I know how... it never gets any easier.
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Does talking about them help though? For so long I was angry, and it fueled so much of what I did. Now? I think they call it ‘survivor’s guilt’. [At least with Pietro.]
But then maybe it has made me stronger. [The twins are the only two to survive Striker’s experiments after all. And even after Pietro’s death, Wanda has grown exponentially in her abilities
because who else can simultaneously destroy one stone while fending off five others.]no subject
There's a lot of things he could say, but none of them are all that helpful in the long-run, just empty promises that ultimately aren't the least bit true.]
It does. Helps get some of the anger out.
[He doesn't respond right away, but eventually he nods.]
Survivor's guilt. Yeah. Back in the war, it was considered a weakness of character. A man losing his nerve, not something psychologically wrong with 'im. "Survivor's guilt" and "post-traumatic stress" makes it sound a lot less like blaming the person for not being strong enough.
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[She still feels like she's living it, though since the Avengers have been disbanded, settling into a real life hasn't been the easiest. Isolation comes more naturally, and it doesn't help that there is still a lot of tension.]
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[He sighs.]
It's a lot of bullshit.
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